How to avoid bad body language

Bad body language is when certain nonverbal signals convey negative, unhelpful or unintended messages, often undermining what we are saying, or creating misunderstandings. It can negatively affect personal relationships as it may lower trust or make you seem unapproachable.

Many of us have no idea how we come across to others, but learning about the effects of poor body language on our relationships with others is vital. Here are five tips to avoid bad body language 

1. Crossed arms: 

Many people feel comfortable crossing their arms; it can be an almost unconscious stance, but it might signal defensiveness, resistance, or a lack of openness. It creates a barrier between you and those you are communicating with and should be avoided. Try to be notice if you are standing or sitting with your arms crossed, and instead lower your them, relax your shoulders and let your hands rest naturally on your lap or by your sides. 

2. Facial expressions: 

Eye contact is crucial for successful communication. A lack of eye contact, frequently looking away or not meeting someone’s gaze, may indicate nervousness or lack of confidence. It can also seem like disinterest, discomfort, or even dishonesty, and frowning, scowling or a blank look can give off a feeling of annoyance or boredom. Ensure you engage fully when with others with proper eye contact – this means look at someone at least 60-70% of the time when they are talking directly to you. 

3. Slouching: 

Poor posture, whether you are sitting or standing, can suggest a lack of confidence, respect or engagement. Try testing how good (or bad) your posture is by sitting in front of a mirror and analysing how you would come across to family, friends or a prospective employer. It may feel uncomfortable to sit up straight or stand tall to begin with, but the more you practice the more natural it will feel and the better your body language will be. Start by straightening your back and ensuring your chin is parallel to the floor – this can make an immediate difference, and good impression.

4. Fidgeting:

Constantly wringing hands, tapping feet, shifting in your seat or playing with hair/glasses all send signals of nervousness, impatience or distraction. Fidgeting inhibits your chances of confidently communicating, so become aware of your actions. Try deep-breathing to calm nerves and put anything that tempts you to fidget out of reach. Tie your hair back if you know you might play with it, and make sure glasses fit properly so they don’t tend to slip down the nose. 

5. Invading personal space: 

For many people standing too close can make others feel uneasy or threatened. The distances with which people feel comfortable can depend on cultural differences, and the relationship between you. We will naturally stand closer to loved ones, family and friends than we will to colleagues or strangers – make sure you aren’t a ‘space invader’. If someone stands too close to you. Try taking a step back or shifting your weight onto your back foot to increase the distance between you.